From Clingy to Confident: Easing Drop-Off Drama

January 24, 2025

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Drop-offs: the ultimate endurance sport. You’ve already conquered breakfast negotiations and the “I don’t want to wear pants” debate, only to face the final hurdle—teary clingers at the door. It’s like a scene from a rom-com, except there’s no soft-focus reunion, just you sweating in yesterday’s coffee-stained shirt, whispering, “I’ll be back soon.”

The good news? It’s normal. The better news? You’re not alone, and it gets easier. Here’s how to ease the drama.

What’s the Deal with Separation Anxiety?

Separation anxiety is a rite of passage for most children between 6-7 months old and peaks at 14-18 months. They’re starting to realise that you, their world, aren’t always within arm’s reach. While they sort of get that you’ll come back, being apart is still scary.

Cue the tears. This is their way of saying, “Don’t leave me, I’m not ready for this!” It’s a survival instinct. It’s normal. It’s a phase. It will pass.

Making It Easier

1. Prep Beforehand

If you can, visit the centre with your child a few times before their first day. Let them explore, meet their educators, and get familiar with the space. The more they know what’s coming, the better.

Even a quick mention of the centre while you’re driving by can help. Talk about the fun things they’ll do and the friends they’ll make. It builds excitement and familiarity.

2. Stick to a Routine

Kids love routines. They feel safe when things are predictable. Create a simple drop-off ritual—like hanging up their bag, a big hug, and a cheerful “See you soon!”

Avoid rushing. Mornings can be chaotic, but leaving a bit earlier can make things less stressful for everyone.

3. Don’t Sneak Off

It’s tempting, but sneaking out while they’re distracted can backfire. They’ll feel confused and unsettled when they realise you’re gone.

Instead, say goodbye calmly and confidently. Keep it short and sweet—no drawn-out farewells. Let them know you’ll be back later, then follow through.

4. Comfort Items Are Gold

A favorite toy or blanket can work wonders. It gives your child a little slice of home to hold onto. As they settle into the routine, they’ll rely on these comfort items less and less.

5. Chat with Educators

Your child’s educators have seen it all. Let them know if your little one is struggling. They can offer extra reassurance and help with the transition. Many centres have a primary caregiver who forms a close bond with each child—a friendly face they can always turn to.

6. Be Patient

Some kids adapt quickly. Others take their time. That’s okay. If things are still tricky after a few weeks, chat with their educator or a pediatrician.

When to Call in the Experts

Sometimes, separation anxiety needs a professional touch. Keep an eye out for these signs:

  • Your child refuses to go to childcare.
  • Complains of stomachaches, headaches, or other physical symptoms.
  • Constantly worries something bad will happen to you.
  • Can’t handle sleeping away from you.

If any of these sound familiar, a pediatrician or child psychologist can help you figure out the next steps.

You’re Doing Amazing

Drop-offs are tough—no sugar-coating that. But every goodbye builds your child’s confidence and resilience. You’re helping them grow, even when it feels hard.

Deep breaths. You’ve got this. Before you know it, they’ll be running in without looking back.

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Written by

Tegan Ritchie

Toddle is the most comprehensive child care finder in Australia, on a mission to make parents’ lives easier.